What do you really mean by love?

Valentine’s day is upon us again – a saint’s day hijacked by all that is pink, red and heart shaped and an excuse for retailers to guilt trip people into spending twice as much for a product, just because it’s Valentine’s day.

Personally, I don’t feel that you need a special day to show someone that you love them, love should be about sharing ups and downs and if you want to buy your other half a gift or some flowers on a Tuesday in October, this should mean just as much to them as 12 overpriced roses in February.


Now there is nothing wrong with celebrating love and happiness, however you find it – but are you focussing your love on the wrong thing? Or is your fear of loving holding you back, because you don’t fit the Hollywood stereotype?


First Love

Your first love should be yourself. Take time to appreciate the good points that you have and really learn to love yourself. This will help you give off a calm and confident air which will benefit you in both your personal and work lives. Whether you believe in the Secret / Law of attraction stuff or not, we are naturally drawn to people who make us feel comfortable with ourselves and this could be the best way to find your soulmate, or ideal client. Loving and valuing yourself will also allow you to have the confidence to walk away from people and situations that disempower you and focus on being the best version of you that you can be.


Love of life

Everyone should be able to lead a happy and fulfilling life, although this may be easier said than done. This can be as simple as understanding your purpose and where you want to go in life and taking tiny steps each week towards your dream – although being clear on what you really want may take many weeks of searching, analysis and even the use of a life coach or best friend to explore what really makes you happy.

I was once told that the essence of this is to think back to what made you happy as a child of 7-8 years old, before the world and the grown-ups in it made you conform to their expectations. Then find a way to incorporate an element of this into your everyday life – it doesn’t need to be literally your childhood dream as often what you want is not what it seems on the surface– you may have wanted to be an astronaut, because you craved adventure, travel, or even peace and quiet away from a noisy household. Try to get to the bottom of what you really want, and then if you can find a way to get paid for doing it – you’ll never ‘work’ a day in your life again!

I have always loved being outside, and could spend hours playing in the fresh air, camping or reading a book under a tree, and as a child I dreamed of being a farmer’s wife – and the realisation of this helped me to realise that I was never going to be happy in a suburban home, stuck in an office all day. When my introduction to alpacas came a couple of years back, our vision of the future became clear, and things started to drop into place.

Over time, we’ve slowly moved towards our dream– finding out more, subscribing to magazines and going on training courses all of which culminates next week in our moving to a rural home, with land to put our furry friends at some point in the future.

Did I ever dream that I would love alpacas? Nope. But hey, life isn’t set in stone – and enjoying the journey is more important than where you end up.


And finally –

Spare a thought for those whose birthday has been hijacked by the commercial meltdown that is Valentine’s day – let’s try to make them feel special too. I know of 3 people who celebrate birthdays on February 14th, as well as it being my late mother’s birthday and would like them to be able to celebrate away from the barrage of hearts, and pink fluffy stuff!

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